worried

feeling a little worried tonite...

a couple of weeks ago ken, my hubby, was on his way back from houston and decided to stop and stay the night with his parents cause he was really tired and it was close to where he needed to be the next day for work. his dad has been suffering for years, long story, 5 or 6(lost count it might be more) back surgeries later, he can't feel half of his body and the half he does feel he can't move very well. he is in constant pain. his next step would be morphine, but he won't do it, cause he would basically be in bed 24/7. we have said it for a least 5 years now that we all think he won't last much longer. and we try to mentally prepare ourselves. but he keeps truckin along. never complains. ken has tried to come to terms with letting him go. and it has been hard watching him try. when he stayed the night he said his dad slept in the recliner and could only sleep about 15 minutes at a time. he said he looked so tired, not just from lack of sleep. my heart breaks for them both! when ken got home the following night he said he was ready to let him go. it took all he had to see his dad the way he did when he was there. i don't have the words to comfort him. i mean how can i? i've never lost someone so close to me. my heart aches for him. i myself can't imagine life without "pop pop". i'm so scared i won't know how to handle it when the time does come.

the hospital "says" they have been trying to reach him for TWO months. wtf!!! come on people a letter would have come faster! anyways, he has 90% blockage. don't know all the details yet but he has a surgery scheduled for tomorrow and another tuesday.

********

my grandmother has recently moved from PR to philadelphia due to health reasons. the best doctors for her "just" happen to be where my dad lives. (THANK YOU GOD). they found out what was causing the bleeding, after almost a year. she only has less than 30% of one kidney left and it was clogged with a mass. turned out to be cancer. they removed it. she is on chemo now. this all happen about three weeks ago. my brother only lives about 9 hours from me and has two young babies so she is there visiting for a month. we've been trying to get up there to see her. but one thing or another (money!) has stopped us. i got a call from my brother yesterday that she went to the hospital for chest pains. she had 75% blockage. she is resting now so i'm just waiting to hear from family.