Tuesday, September 23

i need some advice!!

there is the scoop...

my barely thirteen year old got a phone for her birthday a couple of weeks ago. she is a "textin" junkie! well yesterday i took it away because she was texting tacky things. nothing really bad just rude things that could have been avoided. so while her phone was in our room she received two texts. both the same. it was a forward thingy.

now you tell me if we over reacted.

this is what it said....

"send this 2 everyone and c what they think bout u

1 - friend

2 - friend w/benefits (yes you read that right!)

3 - my baby

4 - my bf/gf

5 - sexy

6 - cute"

WTH!!! i'm sorry that really shocked us. "friends with benefits" now we know what is out there and have discussed it in detail with miranda. we try to be very open and honest with her. probably to honest, but we rather her know the truth and be aware of things.

our reaction...my hubby texts the two girls who sent it to miranda and said..."this is miranda's dad. these are not appropriate questions for young ladies. do your parents know that you are forwarding these kinds of texts? they will." as soon as he was done with that he called the parents, just as a "fyi"

they both made excuse for their daughters. now i know my daughter pretty well, but if someone was trying to tell me what she did or didn't do...i'm not stupid...kids are kids. i would thank them for bringing it to my attention and i would take care of it. not make excuses and pretend they didn't mean any harm.

i really don't think the parents of any of the kids she goes to school understand what they are facing everyday. they just can't swipe things under the rug like nothing is going on. well i guess their kids are not my concern.

anywho, would you want a phone call letting you know about something like this or did we over react?

are we being to petty?


ConnieC said...

I think you did the right thing. If the other girls' parents don't want to face the realities of today, then that's going to be their problem.

I would appreciate the call if it was my child.

But I also wouldn't get my child a phone, unless they understood, that I would be spot checking it from time to time.

My friend's 11 year old daughter, had a "boyfriend" who had a photo on his phone of an ex-girlfriend in her underwear. The ex sent it to him. My friend's daughter was terribly upset with the whole ordeal, when the boyfriend showed it to her. He was trying to pressure my friend's daughter into doing things she didn't want to do. And the "boyfriend" was only 12.

So it's not too early to be involved.

aimee said...

in response to conniec...
thank you. we choose an option that she could not send or receive pics. that doesn't mean she can't take them so we have been watching very carefully at that. and reminding her not to let anyone take pics of her cause it will come back to haunt her. we have proven to her that we are checking up on her texts often. she is not allowed to delete anything. and if she does we can look online to compare. thank you. how come there aren't more people like you around here :)

Denise said...

Aimee, you definitely are handling it correctly. You seem very similar to my friend and her sons are now 16 and 19. The are well-adjust, happy and respectful of others. They survived having rules on cell phone calls/phones/textings. My friend made many calls to parents in regard to what she saw and heard. Most the time she met with obliviousness. BUT when it comes down to it...it is for your child's well-being, so you have to do what fits in with your comfort level, beliefs and expectations. Good for you for setting a good example. I admire that.

Barbara said...

Y*E*S!!! You did the right thing! Our oldest is 21. We do not have text or photo options on our kids phones. And they only get them when they are 16 and on the roads driving. I know they all have phones but we have heard horror stories from even our oldest when he would come home from school with storys of what these KIDS would do with their phones! We even had the issue in school of girls trying to take a photo of my dd undressing in the locker room!
You did the right thing. And Im not surprised by the reaction of the parents! Been there Done that, the locker room...... those parents would not belive their daughters would do that!!!! GO AND SEE WHAT PHOTOS THEY HAVE TAKEN!!! HELLO!!!
Sorry I guess I jumped on the bandwagon a little did'nt I! AND here I came on to see your layout for STM. LOL!
You did right don't ever questions yourselfs about doing somthing that would protect your child!

First thing if your interested is call your phone company and block any text she would receive or send.

Barbara said...

LOL! I re~read my post..... They only get phones when they are on the road. AND then only my 18yr old daughter has text now and it is because all her friends are at different collages. She pays for it.

jerseytjej said...

Aimee...I pay the bill, there fore I have a right to know. If it happends on my Phone, Computer,Laptop...I and The Hubbs are responsible...H to the ell NO, you did nothing wrong! G

jerseytjej said...

PS...Did I mention that we also text and or contact the parents of "inappropriate" messages? You have to pay the cost to be " the boss..." if you cannot " MAN UP" and pay the cost, you need to be a child and enjoy the back seat ride... Praying for you as the parent of 2) 15 and ½ year olds.... Gina

Pinky said...

OK sorry but for me the cell would have been GONE! I would have WAY overreacted more than yOU !LOL

Dana said...

Yikes! This is exactly why I only have cats! Good luck friend.. you are a terrific parent and it will sort itself out :)

Susan Beth said...

While I'm not surprised the other parents were not receptive, I would absolutely want to get that call from you, and I give you and your husband an A+ for how you handled it. I'm not into kids having phones, but I don't have girls or teens, so maybe my position would change with time. I am however, flatly against text messaging. It is not necessary. It avoids kids (and adults) having to learn to wait. If there is a real emergency, then a regular call is in order, taking out all the guess work. Otherwise, it is just an expensive and disruptive way of communicating. So, enough rant about texting. I agree with others, if the computer, phone, or whatever is used by your minor child in your home, you have 100% access, and the kids should know that, and you should exercise your rights frequently! It reminds me of what my dad used to tell me about driving - it isn't you I'm worried about so much as all the o ther weirdos out there! Totally applies to this situation!

Sarah said...

Well, here's my cents worth...I agree totally with the way you and your hubby handled it. I would have called the parents and I would want someone to call me. I am against (my) children having a cell phone until they are older and can help pay for it. Many parents now bury their heads in the sand, ignore what's going on with their kids b/c it's too hard to be the "bad guy" or are just too busy being their "friend"...getting off soapbox now...

Keep doing what you are doing and your kids will be great.

Barbara said...

There there. Just sometimes you have to look real hard for them.
And when you find them hold on. I have found a couple threw the friends of my children. You know right away when you raise your children the same. Those are the only homes I let my children visit. The rest I encourage to come here then I can see what kind of kids they are.

Take care!

Ki said...

No question, you totally did the right thing! My daughter just got a cellphone for her 12th birthday - this is a reminder to me to check the text messages for appropriate content, thankyou!! Sometimes I trust too much!